Lawak owang tawennn... XD

Why MARRY?

You have two choices in life:
You
can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were
dead.
__________

At a cocktail party, one woman said to
another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes,
I am. I married the wrong
man.'

__________

A lady inserted an ad in
the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred
letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have
mine.'
__________

When a woman steals your husband,
there is
no better revenge than to let her keep him.
__________

A
woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished
..
__________

A little boy asked his father,
'Daddy, how much
does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still
paying.'
__________

A young son asked,
'Is it true Dad, that
in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries
her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens in every country,
son.'
__________

Then there was a woman who said,
'I
never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was
too late.'
__________

Marriage is the triumph of
imagination over intelligence.
__________

If you want your
spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in
your sleep.

__________

Just think, if it weren't
for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at
all.
__________

First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
Second
guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still
alive.'
__________

'A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray
for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for
patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him
to death'
__________

AND NOW FOR THE
FAVORITE!!!

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with
their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes.
When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine
kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man
decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking
of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him,
'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That
ticking sound is driving me crazy.'

The blind man replies, 'If you
had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick,
we'd be riding the
bus, so shut the hell up.'